Spring cleaning all year round
Let us grant ourselves the right to be socially selective.
Surrounding ourselves by people who want to see us grow
Pleasing everyone is impossible and it is natural not to get along with everyone. Fortunately, because otherwise, the world would be so insipid. Having said that, being kind and respectful is a must to a certain extent. However, there is no need to force ourselves to maintain a relationship. There are people with whom we are not compatible. There are probably plenty of people who do not like us either and it is totally fine. We design our surrounding depending on our mindset, values, and life path. Therefore, certain people simply do not fit with these filters. It is important to be aware of them and consciously avoid to lose energy for individuals that are not suitable in the first place. Of course, it is important to be open and see from different perspectives. However, at some point, we cannot change people and it is much healthier to focus on the people who matter and take care of us. It is the case in our personal and professional life as well.
Watching out for noxious weeds
We should not work nor live with rubbish. What a waste, right? So many toxic people need to damage others to value themselves. It is our job to say no, push them back because they usually do not stop. Empathy and self-reflection is something impossible to realise for them. They live in a world apart, in their bubble where only they exist. The victims are just pawns that they move as they see fit throughout the relationship. Even when they look in the mirror, they imagine and glorify themselves in a way that is totally different from the way we would consider them. When feeling attacked, they divert the reproach by projecting what is blamed on them to the other. Whatever happens, it will never be their fault and will play the victim card instead of taking responsibility for their action. These manipulations are a never-ending loop that damage way too many people. Psychological wounds should never be underestimated even if they are invisible. However, even if it is tempting, it is not worth the fight. As soon as one spots one of those toxic people, the only escape route is to cut the relationship and leave without looking back in order to save and fix oneself. They will always find a way to turn our words against us. So let’s ignore their attacks and let go.
Creating our own sunshine
The most important is not to feel guilty at all. Easier said than done but it is never the victim’s fault to be treated in such an inhumane and unfair way.
“Make peace with your broken pieces.” — R.H. Sin
Such individuals having a narcissistic personality disorder undermines families and organisations in which they are part of. They dehumanise the people with whom they connect. Victims do not recognise them as such at first. It takes them time to realise the character they have in front of them as they wear different masks. Once they finally open their eyes, it is hard to emerge from their grip and unfortunately, a lot of harm has already been done.
Self-confidence and self-esteem are sensitive things that are tough to maintain, especially when they have been damaged. However, it is crucial to love ourselves first because it teaches others how to love us. If we manage to see our own value, eventually everything falls into line.
“I like mouths without venom, hearts without a stratagem.” — Victor Hugo
It is essential to cherish the ones we love. Any relationship is a plant that we need to water if we want it to grow or stay rooted. Some require maybe less care than others but it is still a commitment. It seems that this notion is lacking for selfish individuals that do not manage to think about someone else than themselves. It might also be important to mention that having the same blood does not mean that the flower is self-sufficient, nor for granted. It is our responsibility to consciously pick the people we choose to take care of, but also to remove the ones we no longer want in our garden.